brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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