"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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