i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
