i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
