About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
