Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize