Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
