hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
