so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
