Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
