was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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