She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Boobs speak an international language.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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