am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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