Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
