was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
