for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
