3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
