Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
