I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
