my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
