That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
