I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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