Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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