Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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