I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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