After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
