I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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