I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize