just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We have started to decorate penises.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
