I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
