He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
