I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize