If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
