is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
