My hair reeks of homosexuality.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
