this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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