come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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