we're blogging at a bar
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize