Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
