How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
