i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
