I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
