what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
