I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
