so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
