Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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