I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
