I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
