He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
