goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Come share oat with me in your robe
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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