What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
