I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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