when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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