I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
