The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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