So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
