you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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