we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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